Reason Jokes / Recent Jokes

Has it occurred to anyone yet that the reason we haven't gotten any
replies from Out There may be the same as the reason we don't often
bother flaming AOLers?
"Oh, _goody_, Yendor-here's another one. Let's see, it says
[*** -> MAKE FRIENDS FAST !!!

Top Ten Ways the Bible would be different if it were written by college students. 10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning cold. 9. The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font. 8. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling. 7. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria. 6. Paul's letter to the Romans becomes Paul's e-mail to [email protected].
5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates. 4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon. 3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes. 2. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen. 1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

If college students wrote the bible...
12.' Blood of Christ' switched from red wine to keg beer.
11. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning: cold!
10. Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.
9. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.
8. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.
7. Paul's Letter to the Romans becomes Paul's E-Mail To: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
6. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
5. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.
4. Out go the mules; In come the mountain bikes.
3. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like Freshmen.
2. Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement.
1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and more...

The social studies teacher had just completed a lesson on war and peace.
"How many of you," the teacher asked, "would say you're opposed to war?"
Not surprisingly, every student in the class raised their hand.
"Who would like to give us their reason for being opposed to war?" asked the teacher. Little Johnny, sitting at the back of the class, immediately raised his hand.
"Johnny, what is your reason?" the teacher asked.
"I hate wars," explained Johnny, "because wars make history, and I hate History!"

Woman in confession: Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
Preast: How have you sinned my child?
woman: I called my husband a "son of a bitch."
Preast: why did you do this.
woman: First, he took off my shirt.
Preast: Like this, (and he does it to her), that is no reason to call
him a son of a bitch.
woman: then he took off my pants.
Preast: Like this, that is still no reason to call him a son of a bitch.
woman then he took off my bra and panties.
Preast: you mean like this, that is no reason to call him a son of a
bitch.
woman: but then he had sex with me.
Preast: Like this.
(15 minutes later)
Preast: that is no reason to call him a son of a bitch.
woman: I know, but a week ago he told me that he had sex with another
woman and he had aids, and I have contracted it.
Preast: Well that Son of a Bitch!

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger then the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00 they concluded that the reason the head was larger then the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study.

After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

Heard from a friend while waiting for the teacher to come to class.
A sixteen year old virgin girl goes to confession.
"Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday."
"Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch??" the priest asked.
"Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission"
"Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father he also touched my breasts."
"You mean like this??" He touches her breasts.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father, he took off my clothes."
"Like this??" He takes off her clothes.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But father he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where."
"Like more...