Reality Jokes / Recent Jokes
CBS reality show "Survivor" will have contestants divided into four tribes by ethnicity. Blacks, Whites, Latinos and Asians in separate groups competing against each other. New York City Councilman John Liu said Thursday, "The idea of having a battle of the races is preposterous." Members of the black community are also launching a campaign urging CBS to pull the show because it could encourage racial division and promote negative typecasts.
In response Jeff Probst said, "They're complaining now but wait until they see the basketball challenge."
When asked why Jews were left out of the reality show, Mark Burnett said, "This is an athletic competition not the "Apprentice,"
One day a son asked his father what was the difference between "theory" and "reality". His father thought and then said "Go ask your Mother if she would sleep with the next door neighbor for a half million dollars." The son went to his mother and asked her. She thought about it a minute and then said, "Yes, yes I would." The son returned to his father and told him her reply. The father then told the son to go ask his sister if she would sleep with the next door neighbor's son for a half million dollars. The son went to his sister and asked her. She thought about it for a minute and then replied, "Yes, yes I would." The son returned to his father and told him his sister also said she would. The father said, "Well son, there you have it. In theory, we're living with a million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of whores."
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and says, "I'll demonstrate it for you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would." Then he goes to his sisters room and asks, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid more...
A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned. "The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would." Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"The more...
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.