Quiz Jokes / Recent Jokes

In this holiday season, the presents are under the tree, the good feelings are flowing… then the criminals kick into high gear and you have to see your family. Every bit of good is offset with a little bit of bad. Can you thrive and survive this holiday season? Take this quiz and find out. PART I: THE NIGHT BEFORE X-MAS1: When up on the roof there arises such a clatter, you…

A. Jump out of bed shouting “Santa’s here! ”
B. Jump out of bed shouting “What the %&!@ was that?! ”
C. Grab a shotgun and start firing toward the sound of footsteps.
2: Finish this famous line from a X-mas tradition: “On…”
A. “a gada da vida. ”
B. “top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese…”
C. “Cupid, on Comet, on Donder and Blitzen! ”
3: By the way, what is a Blitzen?
A. An incredible drink with five kinds of rum.
B. Isn’t it that thing they serve with jam at a deli?
C. A reindeer, stupid!
4: If a fat man in a more...

The job security quiz will help judge how long you`ll end up at your current job and what will become of you.

The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you...
A. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid.
B. Inform him that you`re planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported to Human Resources.
C. Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you`ve finished the level.

There`s a cush job opening in the mail department, stuffing envelopes with free samples. It pays twice as much as your current position. What do you do?
A. Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might improve the morale of everyone who`s been working with you.
B. Politely ask your boss for a transfer and offer to split the salary increase 50/50 with him.
C. Barge into your bosses office and demand reassignment so that you, more...

Caffeine Addict's Quiz:

Do you want to know if you suffer from "Alertness Deficit Disorder" (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz. These questions will help us to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction; the only known cure for which is caffeine. ADD takes the lives of millions of Americans, hundreds of Canadians, and a handful of Ugandans every year. If that doesn't scare you, let's just say that you are more susceptible than anyone else. YES, YOU! If you suffer from this disease, missing just one trip to Starbucks could be FATAL. The following series of Yes/No questions will allow us to determine your Addiction Factor(TM). Keep track of the number of Yes and No answers you get and chart yourself at the end. Remember: Prevention is the best medicine. Or was it laughter? Either way, read on.

1. Do you use coffee to escape from your problems?

2. Do you eat spoonfuls of instant coffee because it's more...

Why did the Quiz Show give away $10,000 plus one banana?
They wanted the prize to have appeal.

An American. an Englishman and a Chinese man were all taking part in a quiz contest. One question asked them was to fill in a blank in a song title and then spell the word. The song title was 'Old Macdonald had a -'.
The American was first to answer - he said 'ranch', spelt R-A-N-C-H.
"Wrong" said the quiz master.
The Englishman answered next - he said 'estate', spelt E-S-T-A-T-E.
"Wrong" said the quiz master.
Then the Chinese man answered - he said 'farm'.
"Please spell it" said the quiz master.
"E - I - E - I - O"

This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a' professional smart person' by your friends. You can scroll down for answers. There are 4 questions. They are not that difficult. 1)How do you put an elephant into a refridgerator? * * * * Answer: Open the door, put in the elephant, and close the door. * 2)How do you put a giraffe into a refridgerator? * * * * Answer: Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. * 3)The animals are having an animal meeting. All the animals attend except for one. Which one does not attend? * * * * Answer:The giraffe. The giraffe is in the refridgerator. * 4)You must cross a crocodile-infested river. How do you manage it? * * * * Answer:You swim across. All of the animals are attending the animal meeting.

This quiz has been around for ages. Remember the answers?

1. If a plane crashed on the border of the USA and Canada, where should the survivors be buried?

2. How many species of each animal did Moses take aboard the ark?

3. How many months have 28 days?

4. How far can a bear walk into the woods?

5. What is the value of coin dated 24 B.C.?

6. How many grooves does a 45rpm phonograph record have?

7. A camper leaves her camp, hikes 1 mile south, then 1 mile east where she sees a bear. Then she hikes 1 mile north to arrive at her camp. What color is the bear?

8. If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof, will the egg roll to the left side or to the right side?

9. If a south bound electric train is traveling at a rate of 66 miles per hour and the wind is blowing to the north at 35 miles per hour, which way will the smoke blow?

10. On which side of a chicken are the most more...