Puppy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A highly timid little man ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
    A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
    "Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
    "What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
    "Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."
    "Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"
    "It appears that your dog choked on her, sir"

    Why can't a dalmatian puppy hide from his mom?

    A father was walking around the neighborhood with his son when they came upon two dogs involved in the procreative act.
    "Father, what are they doing?" asked the little boy.
    "They're making a puppy," the father said.
    Later that night junior gets out of bed and goes to his parents' room to find them in the procreative act. "Daddy, what are you doing?" asks the son.
    "We're making a baby," replied the father.
    The little boy's says, "Well roll her over - I want a puppy!!!"

    Miss Smith is a kindergarten teacher and today is her birthday. As she walked into her classroom one of her students, Sally, had brought a gift up to her desk.

    "Guess what it is!" said Sally.

    Knowing that Sally's father owned a bookstore she guessed, "A Book?".

    "How did you know?" asked Sally.

    Next Dillon brought a gift up to Miss Smith. "Guess what it is!" said Dillon.

    Knowing that Dillon's parents owned a florist shop, she guessed, "Flowers?".

    "How did you know?" asked Dillon.

    Finally, Joey brought up a gift for Miss Smith.

    "Guess what it is!" said Joey.

    Knowing that Joey's father owned a liquor store, and seeing that the bag was wet, she placed her fingers on the liquid and then licked them. "Rum?" guessed Miss Smith.

    "No" said Joey.

    She tasted again..."Vodka?" she more...

    A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
    A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
    "Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
    "What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
    "Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."
    "Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"
    "It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."

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