Puff Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A king travels through the desert, when he suddenly discovers a man captured under a big rock, he throws a rope around the rock and ties it to his horse and pulls the rock off the man. The man, gratefull as he is, tells the king that he's really a great sorcerer, and gives the king three wishes.

    The king looks at the Sorcerer and says "OK, then I wish to be immortal", the sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done." The king takes a knife and stabs himself and nothing happens, then he says "OK, then I want my horse to be immortal." The sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done". The king, happy as can be, stabs his horse and nothing happens, then he says "OK, then I want my horses genitals." The sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done".

    The king, still happy, jumps on his horse and rides back to his castle, in the doorway he meets his friend Peter, jumps off the horse and tells Peter that he's now immortal. Peter laughs, but more...

    Canadian soldiers fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet-high marijuana plants. Troops are now scouring the Afghani countryside for 30-pound brownies.

    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish. ’ ‘Me first! Me first! ’ says the admin clerk. ‘I wantto be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. ’ Puff! She’s gone. ‘Me next! Me next! ’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. ’ Puff! He’s gone. ‘OK, you’re up, ’ the Genie says to the manager. The manager smiles and say, ‘I want those two back in the office after the lunch-time. ’ Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say!!!

    Lesson 1:
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I `ll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

    Moral of the story:
    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

    Lesson 2:
    A priest more...

    >>To All Men Traveling the Airways
    >>The Gentleman had a serious problem. He had made several attempts
    >>to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied. The
    >>noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and with a look
    >>of pain and anxiety on his face.
    >>"Sir", she said, "The ladies restroom is unoccupied. You may use it
    >>if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He was
    >>about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her
    >>The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling,
    >>he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white
    >>buttons were identified by the letters: "WW", "WA", and "PP", and
    >>there was one red button labeled "ATR".
    >>Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn't just sit
    >>there and more...

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