Prison Jokes / Recent Jokes

there was a blonde red head and a burnette they all escaped from prison and the copes came to find them they hid in a cornfield and the officer kicks the red head and says "WOOF" "WOOF" the officer says it is just a stoopid dog goes to the burnette the officer kicks the burnette and the burnette says "MEOW" "MEOW" the officer goes over to the blonde kicks the blond and the blonde saya "potatoes" "potatoes"

An Al Qaeda terrorist serving 18 years for his involvement in a plot to bomb London was taught how to be a stand-up comic at his top-security prison.
Evil Zia Ul Haq was enrolled in an eight-day “comedy workshop” at Whitemoor jail, along with murderers and rapists. The 18 cons were given lessons in stand-up, comic drama, improvisation and scriptwriting. Once they “graduated” they were due to get a certificate and display their new talents with a comedy show for fellow inmates and guards.
On Thursday Justice Secretary Jack Straw canned the "totally unacceptable" course. He also vetoed a plan by the Category A Cambridgeshire prison to set up its own comedy club.

I know comedians have anger issues, but this is ridiculous.

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK...you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON...you get three meals a day. AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior. AT WORK...you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. IN PRISON...a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON...you get your own toilet. AT WORK...you have to share. IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK...you cannot even speak to your family and friends. IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON...you spend most more...

In prison, you get three square meals a day.

At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.

In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.

At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can't sleep without his latest lego creation.

In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even.

At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.

At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.

In prison, all your medical care is free.

At home, you have to pawn more...

Prison life versus a full-time job

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.

At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.

In prison you get three meals a day.

At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.

In prison you get time off for good behavior.

At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and play games.

At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.

At work you are just ball-and-chained.

In prison you get your own toilet.

At work you have to share.

In prison they allow your family and friends to more...

Prison life versus a full-time jobIn prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. Work jokes you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. Work jokes you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one. In prison you get time off for good behavior. Work jokes you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. Work jokes you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison you can watch TV and play games. Work jokes you get fired for watching TV and playing games. In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. Work jokes you are just ball-and-chained. In prison you get your own toilet. Work jokes you have to share. In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. Work jokes you cannot even speak to your family and friends. In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. Work more...

Survivor winner Richard Hatch begins his 51 month prison sentence for tax evasion at an Oklahoma City federal prison. While it is not clear why Hatch was moved to Oklahoma, it is a well known fact that Oklahoma is home to both steers and queers.