Pregnant Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the difference between a nine-month pregnantwoman and a Playboy centerfold? Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three-year-old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious... Here she's in the middle of her first run for President, and as Senator of New York this has happened to her.
She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts
screaming;' How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?' There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again,' Did you hear me?'
Finally she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says,' Who is this?'

A mother carefully explained to her young daughter how children were created. She used the expression "carrying a child" instead of "pregnant," but the girl seemed satisfied.
Sometime later, a terrible fire broke out in the neighborhood, and the girl stood by watching. Here is how she described the scene to her parents: "There was this big fire, and a fireman ran into the house, and when he came out, he was pregnant."

Hilary Clinton found out she was pregnant. She was so infuriated that she went straight to the nearest phone and called the Oval Office. When Bill answered, Hilary said, "You rotten jerk, you got me pregnant!" There was silence on the other end of the line, which infuriated Hilary even further. "You rotten jerk", she screamed. "You got me pregnant!!" Bill replied, "Uh... who is this?"

* What do you call a blonde with panties on?
- Unemployed!

* Why does a blonde whear panties?
- To keep her anckles warm!

* How do you make a blonde pregnant? If you don't know, scroll down - but only if you don't know!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
- I didn't think you was so stupid - you make her pregnant like you make any other woman pregnant!

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find outthat she's pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator ofNew York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! Howcould you??!!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what haveyou got to say???"There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screamsagain, "Did you hear me??!!" Finally she hears Bill's very, veryquiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"