Poodle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Tina and Kelly were sitting home on a Saturday evening.
Tina is known for her wit in cracking jokes.
She tells Kelly that she looked liked a french poodle.
Kelly "replies" you have the audacity to say I look like a french poodle when you look like over processed meat.
One day after school Jonathan went to the pet shop and told the owner he wanted to buy a watchdog for his mother's birthday.
"How about this one?" said the salesman, pointing to a cage with a scrawny little poodle in it.
"Are you kidding?" said Jonathan. "That dog looks harmless."
"Yes, but he knows karate," said the salesman. "Watch." The salesman pointed to a huge cinder block and shouted "karate the block!"
Immediately, the poodle struck out its paw and with one blow smashed the block into two pieces.
Next, the salesman pointed to a metal chair, then commanded, "Karate the chair!"
Once again, the little poodle crushed the chair with a single blow.
That night Jonathan brought home the poodle and showed it to his father.
"What kind of watchdog is that to give your mother?" said Jonathan's father. "What good is more...
Q) What did the blonde do when her toy poodle died? A) She tried putting batteries in it!
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.
The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade more...
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them "The first one who can use the words "liver" and "cheese" together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says "I love liver and cheese."
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever." She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said "How well can you do?"
"Um. I HATE liver and more...
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle?
A: A dead poodle with an 18 inch asshole.
Here's a sad one... Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A: A dead poodle with an 18 inch asshole.