Politically Jokes / Recent Jokes

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you more...

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves","Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the north poleWere alleged by the union to stifle the soul.Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.And equal employment had made it quite clearThat Santa had better not use just reindeer.So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!? The runners had been removed from his sleigh;The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.And people had started to call for the copsWhen they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows:Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of more...

POLITICALLY CORRECT SEASONS GREETINGS Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemispheresummer solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of thereligious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions ofothers, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medicallyuncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great, andwithout regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation or choice of computer platform andoperating system of the wishee. By accepting more...

Ever want to call someone stupid, but want to do it in a way that is politically correct? Here are some great suggestions sent in by various people...

A few clowns short of a circus

A few fries short of a Happy Meal

An experiment in artificial stupidity

A few beers short of a six pack

A few peas short of a casserole

Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl

A few feathers short of a whole duck

All foam, no beer

The cheese slid off his cracker

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel

He fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools

As smart as more...

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck. ..
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E. P. A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called more...

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E. P. A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called more...

'Twas the Night Before Christmas: Politically Correct Version
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to ''Elves'',
''Vertically Challenged'' they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was more...