Poisoning Jokes / Recent Jokes
A gentleman by the name of Borris goes to see a Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
"What's wrong?" Asked the Rabbi
Borris replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
Borris then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls Borris and says, "Well, I have spoken to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
Borris anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
Man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says,
"Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."
A man went to see his priest and stated in a very serious tone, "Father, something horrible is happening and I must talk to you about it."
"What is wrong, my son?" asked the priest.
"My wife is poisoning me," stated the man.
The priest, very shocked by this, asked, ""How can that be?"
"I'm tell you, Father, I'm positive she's poisoning me. What should I do?" the man pleaded.
"Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know," said the priest.
A few days later, the priest called the man and said, "Well, I have spoken with your wife. We spoke on the phone for almost four hours. Do you want my advice?"
The man anxiously replied, "Yes."
"Take the poison!" said the priest.
The Rabbi`s Advice.
Abe goes to see his Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What`s wrong, Abe?"
Abe replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi was very surprised by this and asks, "How can that be?"
Abe then pleads, "I`m telling you, I`m certain she`s poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I`ll see what I can find out and I`ll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls Abe and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
Abe anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for the local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the job. He decided to seek compensation for his ailment. Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department, he is interviewed by an assessor.Assessor: I see you work with radio-active materials and wish to claim compensation. Trucker: Yeah, I feel really sick. Assessor: Alright then, Does your employer take measures to protect you from radiation poisoning? Trucker: Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job. Assessor: And what about the cabin in which you drive? Trucker: Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined. Assessor: What about the waste itself? Where is that kept? Trucker: Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead. Assessor: Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead suit, sit in a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active waste is kept in a lead container. Trucker: Yeah, that? s right. All lead. Assessor: Then I can't see how you more...