Player Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that's not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it. Q: How can you tell the stage you're playing on is level? A: The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor? A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard. Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos? A: They make great anchors! Q: Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo? A: They make good paddles. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw? A: A chain saw has a dynamic range. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw? A: You can turn off a chainsaw. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw? A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a Harley-Davidson motorcycle? A: You can tune a Harley. Q: What is the more...
On Jeopardy... TREBEK: The category is "Political Subversion". The answer is: Thisentity is dedicated to the destruction of religion, morality, and theAmerican way of life. PLAYER: What is the KGB? TREBEK: Be more specific. PLAYER: What is PBS? TREBEK: Right!
How does a guitar player make a million dollars?
He starts out with eight million.
Q: How many people at a chess tournament does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Nine. One to complain about the lighting levels, one to say he thinks the lighting is OK, one to suggest someone calls the arbiter, one to go and call the arbiter, one to reminisce about lighting levels at the 1947 tournament at Hastings, one to complain about the disturbance the others are causing, both arbiters, and one to say he thought the lighting was better before they changed the lightbulb.
Q: How many people at a chess tournament does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Here is the current state of research... You need one to complain about the lighting. A second will say he thinks the light is fine. A third suggests the tournament director be called, and number four fetches him. An aged player (5) reminisces about the lighting levels at Nottingham 1936. The director (6) can't be found, but his deputy (7) arrives. Player eight says that if they increase the lighting levels it more...
The Charade
The world's greatest charade player brags that he can guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees.
Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude young women.
The second and fourth ladies are holding their breasts, while the other five have their backs to him and are baring their behinds.
The charade player barely glances over them and says,' 'The William Tell Overture by Rossini.''
The flabbergasted producer says in awe,' 'You've done it!. That's the right answer. You are indeed the greatest charade player!'' and hands him a check for a million bucks.
Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and ask him how more...
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?
They might be cheetahs!
Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player
Fan: Why's that?
Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!
Why do artists never when they play football?
They keep drawing!
Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
So that they can pack the defence!
Where do old bowling balls end up?
In the gutter!
Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet?
Player: I finished it in three days!
What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
The scenter spot!