Pizza Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sardar Ordered A Pizza And The Clerk Asked If He Should Cut It In Six Or Twelve Pieces.
"Six, Please. I Could Never Eat Twelve Pieces."
A blond goes into a pizza shop for a snack. She orders, "May I have a veggie pizza slice with all the works?"
The worker says, "That would be our combo pizza."
The blond says, "No, thanks. I'll stay with the veggie slice."
The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME.
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.
The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.
Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We’re over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That’s right. I’m an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You’re an FBI agent?
Agent: That’s correct. Just about more...
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip? ”
“Well, ” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great. ” “Is that so? ” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars. ”
“Thanks, ” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund. ”
“What are you studying in school? ” asked Larry.
The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology. ”
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it
in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
If Men Were in Charge of Weddings
There would be a "Rehearsal Kegger" rather than a "Rehearsal Dinner."
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.
They would have NO tan lines.
The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!
Idiots who tried to dance with the bride would get punched in the head.
Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."
There would be "Tailgate Receptions."
Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. Those strippers and liquor sure do add up.
Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.
Favors would be more...
1) There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" until the cops showed up.
2) Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.
3) They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not..
4) Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.
5) June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.
6) Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.
7) The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped-up ‘73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!
8) Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.
9) Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."
10) There would be "Tailgate Receptions."
11) Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at more...