Pine Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bens dad was building a pine bookshelf and Ben was watching and occasionally helping. What are the holes for? Ben asked. Theyre knot holes, said his dad. What are they, then, if theyre not holes? asked Ben.
1. Watch the sunset-- on a sled. 2. Smile more, --it might get you a free beer. 3. Complain less. --It might get you a free beer. 4. Surprise a friend with a call. -- It might get you a free beer. 5. Develop your gifts. -- You might need them. 6. Count your blessings. -- You might need these too! 7. Talk to someone in an elevator. -- Particularly ones with Arctic Cat jackets on, or those carrying beer. 8. Breathe consciously once in a while. -- This cures snoring. 9. Enjoy sneezes -- and stay behind the one sneezing. 10. Appreciate that your leg isn't broken, -- unless you are an actor. 11. Be unique, --it demonstrates difference! 12. Sing in the shower. -- With a friend! 13. Put your shoes on the wrong feet and laugh at yourself, -- or have someone laugh at you. 14. Make someone's day, -- or night. 15. Stand on your head. -- For a free beer! 16. Stare at the world above you. -- Hopefully not from under a bar. 17. Play with an animal. -- Be sure it is one which cannot eat you! 18. more...
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 lb. รข??possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
a. 66 Ford Fairlane
b. 69 Chevrolet Chevelle
c. 64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Pabst Blue Ribbons will be consumed in cutting the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented its charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is more...
A young man who was an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried, and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home.
Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him. To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.
Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree more...
Ben's dad was building a pine bookshelf and Ben was watching and occasionally helping.' What are the holes for? ' Ben asked.' They're knot holes,' said his dad.' What are they, then, if they're not holes? ' asked Ben.
Knock KnockWhos there! Courtney Pine! Courtney Pine who? Courtney Pine tables, I need a new one!