Phyllis Jokes

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Prof. Irwin CoreyLove matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. - Countess of BlessingtonI've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. - Cass DaleyI'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year. - Bette DavisLove is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. - Lord DewarI've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? - Phyllis DillerNever go to bed angry. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis DillerIt destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. - Benjamin DisraeliHonolulu, it's got everything. Sand for more...

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Phyllis.
Phyllis who?
Phyllis up a cup of water! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Phyllis!
Phyllis who!
Phyllis in on the news!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Phyllis!
Phyllis who!
Phyllis in on the news!

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Prof. Irwin CoreyLove matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. - Countess of BlessingtonI've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. - Cass DaleyI'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year. - Bette DavisLove is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. - Lord DewarI've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about' short' and' cheap'? - Phyllis DillerNever go to bed angry. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis DillerIt destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. - Benjamin DisraeliHonolulu, it's got everything. Sand for more...

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Prof. Irwin Corey
Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. - Countess of Blessington
I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. - Cass Daley
I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year. - Bette Davis
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. - Lord Dewar
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? - Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. - Benjamin more...