Pessimists Jokes

"Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist invents the parachute." — George Bernard Shaw

Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

Pessimists have already begun to worry about what is going to replace automation.

Q: How many neurophysiologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six. One to remove the old bulb and examine it under the microscope to find out what went wrong, one to blow a tube of glass into the bulb shape, one to coil the tungsten wire filament, one to clean up the metal base of the old bulb, one to operate the vacuum pump to get rid of the air in the bulb and one to apply the glue to seal the new bulb into the old base. The new bulb won't work, of course, but the whole process uses up a lot of expensive equipment and keeps several intelligent people happily employed doing something totally useless.

Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight.

Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, it's a waste of time because the new bulb probably won't work either.

Q: How many optimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, more...

Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight.