Patty Jokes / Recent Jokes
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
Company more...
Not being the best student in Sunday School, Patty usually slept her way through it. One Sunday the teacher decided to call on her, "Patty, tell me who invented the universe."
Patty didn't stir, so little Johnny grabbed a pin, leaned forward and poked her in the ear. "God Almighty!" yelled Patty. "Very good," said the teacher, while Patty fell back alseep.
After a few minutes the teacher again asked Patty a question. "Patty, who is our Lord and Savior?"
As usual Patty didn't stir, so again Johnny poked her in the ear with the pin. "Jesus Christ!" Patty shouted. "Very good," said the teacher, as Patty fell back to sleep yet again.
The teacher then asked Patty a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty third child?" One more time, Johnny stabbed Patty with the pin.
Patty jumped up and screamed, "If you dare stick that damn thing in me again, I'm going to break it in more...
December 1
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
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December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that, Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There more...
Mrs. Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over. Patty asked her mother, "Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?
"How do you mean, change her min?" asked Mrs. Sullivan.
"Well said the child, "she went into the church with one man and came out with another!"
There is an Old Irish couple, Margaret and Patty. Margaret walks into the living room where Patty is and says, "Patrick, oh I am so proud of you, so proud. Last month, I told you that you were spending too much time at the pub and too much time away from me. Since then you haven't gone to the pub once and stayed home. I want to do something special for ya, I want to make ya a special dinner, special indeed." Patty replied, "Oh Margaret, you don't have to do that, don't trouble yourself." "No, it's no trouble" Margaret insisted, "In fact, when we were on holiday last year, you really enjoyed that Escargot. You go to the store and get them snails and I'll make' em up for ya." Patty got excited, "Oh, that would be wonderful!! O. K., o. k. I'll go right away."
So Patty goes to the store to get the snails, but has to pass the pub on the way. As he passes, everyone in the pub starts yelling, "Hey Patty!! Where ya been, Boy? more...