Parton Jokes / Recent Jokes
Subject: Additional Training
It is now and always has been the policy of this Company to assure its
employees that they are well trained. Through our Special High Intensity
Training program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any
other company in the area.
If any employee feels that he or she could advance to another position by
taking more SHIT, see your supervisor.
Our management people are specially trained to assure that you will get all
the SHIT you can handle.
Any individual who feels he or she has not received sufficient Special High
Intensity Training, tell your supervisor, she he can put you at the top of
the SHIT list.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
- Toys for twats.
What is red and has seven dents?
- Snow White's cherry
How can you tell Dolly Parton's more...
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.
If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.
If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it's the '90's!, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elto John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny more...
On a single day both Dolly Parton and Princess Di pass away. As they reach the gates of heaven, they can see St. Peter standing out front waiting for them, shaking his head. As they approach, St. Peter tells them, "Ladies, I`m sorry, but there just isn`t room for both of you in heaven right now, so I will only be able to take one of you. Seeing as you have both lived good lives and seem equally fit to enter the kingdom, you will have to tell me something that`s special about you."
Dolly Parton comes forward, pushing her breasts up with her hands. "Well," she says, "I`ve got THESE..." St. Peter looks at her and says, "Yes, those are very good. Very good indeed. But let`s see what Princess Di has to offer."
Princess Di just stands there, "I don`t think there`s anything special about me. I mean, I was next in line to become the queen of England..." St. Peter shakes his head, "That`s just not going to do it. more...
Dolly Parton and Princess Di both died, and found themselves at the pearly
gates.
Dolly Parton knocked, and in a moment, Saint Peter arrived.
He looked at them both, and told them that he could only let one in,
because heaven was getting a little crowded.
So, he gave them both one chance to convince him to let them in.
Dolly Parton lifted up her top, and showed Saint Peter the biggest and
most impressive set of tits he'd ever seen.
Princess Di thought for a while on how to top that one, then all of a
sudden, squatted by Saint Peter and pissed on his feet.
He said nothing, but opened the gates and let Princess Di through.
Dolly was pissed off about this, and screamed