Pants Jokes / Recent Jokes

The young flight attendant, new and FULL OF ATTITUTE, is standing at the bar when a young man walks up to her asking, "Would you like to dance?"

The hostess says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."

The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."

One for dirty minds The Gutter-Mind Test!
What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse?
What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?
What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?
What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?
Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman?
What does a dog do that you can step into?
What is a 4-letter word that begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands?
What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages?
What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
*** The Correct Answers *** more...

Little Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well during the year that the teacher suggested to theprincipal that they gave him an oral exam to make up for the test he missed.
The principal agreed so they called Little Johnny into the office and explained to him what they were going to do.
Then the teacher asked, "Johnny, what does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?"
Little Johnny replied, "Legs."
The teacher asked, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I don't have in my pants?"
Little Johnny replied, "Pockets."
The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?"
Little Johnny replied. "Rome."
The teacher turned to the principal and asked, "Should we pass him?"
The principal replied, "Better not ask me, I got the first two wrong"

A woman and her husband decided to go on a skiing trip one weekend. They rode the ski lift to the top of the mountain, and were preparing to go down. The woman suddenly announced that she needed to use the restroom, and NOW. Her husband told her that since the coast was clear, she could just hide behind a tree and go.

Well, the woman had her pants down around her ankles when she suddenly began going down the mountain. She hit a tree on the way down and broke her leg and her arm and had several other bumps and bruises.

When she awoke at the hospital, she was surprised to see another man who was dressed in a skiing outfit and also looked as if he had been in a skiing accident. The woman was very curious about this man, so she asked him what happen.

You'll never believe it, he told her. I was just skiing down the mountain, and a woman went by with her pants around her ankles, and I crashed into a bush.

While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the man senseless. When the man came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "F*ck you!" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge.
The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it more...

A guy walked into a bar and sat down next to an extremely gorgeous
woman. The first thing he noticed about her though, was her pants.
They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism
(zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them.
After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over
her hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her. "Excuse me miss,
but how do you get into your pants?"
"Well," she replied, "you can start by buying me a drink."

One day after class Deeper stay to talk to the teacher.Ms.Penis take off your top if you don't I'll cry.So the teacher took off her top.
Ms.Penis take off your pants.No Deeper I won't.If you don't I'll cry.So she took off her pants.
Ms.Penis take off you wonder bra, thong, and sandles.Deeper I can't.If you don't I'll cry.So the teacher off her under wears and sandles.
Ms.Penis push two tables together and clean them off.If you don't I'll cry.So she did.
Ms.Penis lay on the tables and spred your legs out real far.No I can't.Please I am going to cry if you don't.So the teacher did.
Ms.Penis you have a great body.You have huge tits, thin waist, and great butt.So here I come I am going to scrw you.
So Deeper climbed onto the table and started screwing Ms.Penis.Deepers parents walked in and yelled, Deeper!!! So Deeper went a little bit deeper.
When his parents seen what he was doing they yelled once more, Deeper!!! So Deeper went alot deeper.
His parents more...