Pal Jokes / Recent Jokes

THE MAN'S POINTS SYSTEM

For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it
is:

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
happy. Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she
dislikes & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing
something she expects... Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed...+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the
decorative pillows... 0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled
sheets...-1 You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty
liners with wings...+5 But return with beer. ..-5 You check out a
suspicious noise at night. .. 0 You check out a suspicious noise and
it's nothing... 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's
something....+5 You pummel it with a six iron....+10 It's her
father...-10 You leave the toilet seat more...

Dear Pal:

Well here it is, the end of another year, and as is my custom I take out a little time to write a few of my good friends, it is the time when I remember all the good things that have happened to me in the past twelve months. When I reflect on the value of the friendships I have cherished over the years. When, in fact, I indulge myself to the extent of waxing a bit sentimental.

It's a snowy evening, the doorbell rings, intermittently, but here in my den it is cozy and comfortable and peaceful. I'm sitting before a nice open fire with my typewriter, sort of half-listening to the hi-fi, and slowly sipping a nice very dry double Martini. I surely wish you were here but since you are not, the least I can do is toast your health and happiness for the coming year so time out, old pal, while I bend my elbow with thoughts of you.

I just took a recess to mix another Martini and while I was out in the kitchen I thought of all the time I would waste more...

FUNNY INTERVIEW Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Tell Me Properly
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir
Officer: Your Father's Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: (Angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass
Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir
Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance....?
Officer: Mp! !!
Candidate: What Is That more...