Over Jokes / Recent Jokes
"What are you doing today, oh mother of my children?" queries papa ji. "Well," replies mum ji, "I think I'll get some chores out of the way, like marrying off your son!" "What a great idea." agrees dad. "You do that while I wash the cars!"
And so the wheels of the' marriage machine' are set in motion. Once moving anyone wishing to stop them is simply steam rolled over! Before long an unsuspecting couple find that it has carried them all the way to the temple. Accompanied by a million voices commanding their every move, they sit cross legged in total bewilderment wondering which order to obey first.
Evolution of the arranged marriage actually starts as soon as the grades have been achieved, the job secured and the Ford Mondeo acquired. For then, life for the single Asian suddenly shifts into the "eligible" gear. Not only do mum and dad treat you like a prize poodle at Crufts but family more...
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and carry on as if nothing happened.
A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel hit a hard object buried in the earth, which revealed itself to be an old bottle sealed with a cork. The man wrenched the cork free and, to his astonishment, there was a cloud of smoke and a clap of thunder. Standing before him was a genie." As a reward for freeing me, I shall grant you three wishes," said the genie, "But understand, whatever you wish for, your most hated enemy shall receive twice over." The man's most hated enemy happened to be his next door neighbour, Jones. "Let's see. My first wish is..." He looked at his weather beaten bungalow, "... to live in a ten story luxury mansion." The genie clapped his hands and suddenly his minute shack transformed into the most beautiful house he had ever laid eyes on. He heard a cry of astonishment from next door and looked over to see Jones standing in the doorway of his new twenty story mansion." Now I want fifty of the most beautiful women more...
Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't believe? Let me show you." and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said "Ah Beng, here is a 10 dollar note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." to which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! right away!" and rushed off to the showroom. The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." and he called his driver, Ali. "Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home." to which Ali said, "Yes Sir, right away Sir." and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here." Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 more...
A couple were throwing a dinner party for all the major bigwigs in San Diego. The wife was very excited about the party and wanted everything to be just perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any escargot, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with a bucket and gather some snails. Grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would just come down the beach and talk to me."
He went back to gathering the snails for the dinner party. All of a sudden he looked up and the beautiful woman was standing over him. They got to talking and she invited him back to her place for a drink. Well one thing led to another, and the man ended up spending the night at her place. At 7 AM the next morning he more...
THE IRS LETTER... Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1996 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair, since they are minors and not my responsbility, that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to care for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over the next year. You may apply next year to reassign them to me and reinstate the deduction. This year they are yours! The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brillant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name. Taxes should be a breeze. Next year she is going to college. I think it's wonderful that you will now be responsible for that little expense. While you more...
A man went into a pet store and said to the owner, I`d like to buy a pet that is out of the ordinary - unusual. The pet shop owner replied, well,I have one Rairy-bird left... The man said, I`ve never even heard of a Rairy-bird, that certainly makes it unusual!, I`ll take it! So the man brought home his new Rairy-bird and soon found out that it had a huge appetite! It was always hungry!! Finally,the Rairy-bird was so big and fat that it wouldn`t fit inside the house anymore, much less the cage! The man said to himself: I`ve got to get rid of this animal-I can`t afford to feed it! So he rented a huge dump truck, put the Rairy-bird into the back, and drove to the edge of a high cliff. He then dumped the Rairy-bird out of the truck and over the cliff!! Thinking that all his troubles were over, the man was driving home when he suddenly heard this singing coming from the back of the dump- truck: "It`s a long long way to tip-a-Rairy!!