October Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    TO: All Employees
    DATE: October 1, 2009

    RE: Gala Christmas Party

    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

    Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family,

    Patty



    Company more...

    October 28, 1958 - Angleo Giuseppe Roncalli was elected Pope. He took the name John XXIII.
    TRADITION
    Every time a new pope is elected, there are a lot of rituals and ceremonies that have to be gone through, in accordance with tradition. Well, there's one tradition that very few people know about.
    Shortly after the new pope is enthroned, the chief rabbi seeks an audience. He is shown into the pope's presence, whereupon he presents him with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion. On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled parchment envelope.
    The pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.
    The chief rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does not return until the next pope is elected. John XXIII was intrigued by this ritual, whose origins were unknown to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they came up with nothing. When the time came and the chief rabbi was shown into his presence, he more...

    (Passing requires 4 correct answers...)
    1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
    2) Which country makes Panama hats?
    3) From which animal do we get catgut?
    4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
    5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
    6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?
    7) What was King George VI's first name?
    8) What color is a purple finch?
    9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
    10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
    Quiz Answers:
    1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
    2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
    3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
    4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
    5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
    6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal? Dogs
    7) What was King George VI's more...

    Sweetest Day is celebrated on the third Saturday in October as a day to make someone happy. It is an occasion which offers all of us an opportunity to remember not only the sick, aged, and orphaned, but also friends, relatives and associates whose helpfulness and kindness we have enjoyed.
    SICK MOM
    I heard a story about a mother who was sick in bed with the flu. Her darling daughter wanted so much to be a good nurse. She fluffed the pillows and brought a magazine for her mother to read. And then she even showed up with a surprise cup of tea.
    "Why, you're such a sweetheart," the mother said as she drank the tea. "I didn't know you even knew how to make tea."
    "Oh, yes," the little girl replied, "I learned by watching you. I put the tea leaves in the pan and then I put in the water, and I boiled it, and then I strained it into a cup. But I couldn't find a strainer, so I used the flyswatter instead."
    "You what?" the more...

    Extracted from US news papers:
    ---------------------------
    A 24-YEAR-old man being chased by a police officer from a Beverly Hills, Calif., house that he was
    suspected of burglarizing ran into a tree branch and knocked himself unconscious. In September, in
    Akron, Ohio, police said that Christopher S. Dobbins, 28, in the process of robbing Leonardo's Pizza,
    slipped on a streak of grease on the floor, which was the result of a dropped pizza earlier in the
    evening, and knocked himself out.
    ------------------------------
    IN ST. LOUIS IN OCTOBER, according to police, Robert Puelo, 32, stole a hot dog from a 7-Eleven and
    left the store, cramming it into his mouth as he ran. Minutes later, Puelo choked to death on a
    6-inch piece of the hot dog that lodged in his throat.
    ------------------------------
    In Council Bluffs, Iowa, seven relatives ranging in age from 10 to 71 piled into the family car
    intending to commit suicide over more...

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