Nipples Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Height of Patience:
    A naked woman lying down with her legs apart under a banana tree.
    Height of Frustration:
    A boxer trying to scratch his balls.
    Height of Innocence:
    A teenage girl applying Clearasil to her nipples.
    Height of Laziness:
    A guy lying on a girl and waiting for an earthquake to do the rest.
    Height of Competition:
    A guy peeing beside a waterfall.
    Height of Sophistication:
    Sucking nipples with a straw.
    Height of Disgust:
    While wiping after a good toilet dump, your finger pokes through the paper.
    Height of Technology:
    A condom with a zip.
    Height of Trouble:
    A one handed man hanging from a cliff and his arse is itching.

    Some of these are EXTREMELY offensive. Women who are sensitive
    probably skip this. Why women!? Any FCP or men too!!


    1. What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? A pussy is warm
    and moist. A cunt is what owns it.

    2. What's a clitoris? A female hood ornament.

    3. What's the only bad thing about the 69 position? The view.

    4. Why do men fart more than women? Because women won't shut up long
    enough to build up pressure.

    5. Why did cave men drag their women around by the hair? Because if
    you drag them around by the feet they fill up with dirt.

    6. Why did god give men penises? So we'd always have at least one
    way to shut a woman up!

    7. What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick? You
    don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

    8. How is a woman like a laxative? They both irritate the shit out of you.

    9. more...

    Not too long ago, I saw something at the gun and pawn shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 10th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife.
    What I came across was a 100, 000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long term
    adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.
    Needless to say, this was way too cool. Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the thing and pushed the button. Nothing!
    I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get a blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to my wife what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
    Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be more...

    Q - Why do women have nipples?
    A - Because, if they didn't, boobs would be pointless

    Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.

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