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Sidney was a 14-year-old boy with an interest in the sciences. One summer day he started his own investigations. With his 12-year-old sister Sophie in tow, he caught a large bull frog in a local pond. Sidney started his experiment with the amphibian, and told Sophie her job was to write down the results of the experiment.

Sidney drew a line in the sand, placed the frog on the line, and prodded the frog with a small twig from the rear and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped, and Sidney measured the distance. "12 feet... write that down, Sophie," he said.

Next, he brought the frog back to the starting point and removed the frog's right front leg. Again he prodded the frog and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped 10 feet, and on instruction, Sophie wrote it down.

Again the frog was brought back, the left front leg was removed, and again "Jump, frog!" Sidney reported, "Six feet... write it more...

A blonde walks into an electronics store and points to something behind the clerk." How much is that television set?" she asks." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the clerk said. So, the girl walks out. The next day, she returns wearing a brown wig. She again approaches the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?" The clerk replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." Again, the girl walks out. She again tries the next day, this time wearing a red wig. She goes up to the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?" The clerk again replies, "We don't sell to blondes!"Well, the girl was kind of suspicious. She asks carefully, "How do you know I'm a blond?" The clerk looks at the girl and says..."Because that's not a television, it's a microwave!"

Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven."

The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"

St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?"

The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"

St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"

The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"

St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"

So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man more...

Audrey Greyson was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only relief Audrey got from her chores was the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women. The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that Audrey loved to tell off-color stories and the girls didn't want to hear them.
To teach Audrey a lesson, the other women decided that the next time she told an off-color story, they'd just get up, walk out, and meet at another home but without Audrey.
Sure enough, at the next bridge club meeting, Audrey started, "You know, girls, there's a rumor going around that a busload of prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold find up in Alaska, and they say..." Just then, the women all stood up and started for the door.
Audrey was disconcerted, but only for a moment. Then she understood what was going on and said, "Hey! Girls! Hold on, hold on! There's plenty of time because the bus more...

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers. Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don`t mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?" `Tis odd, isn`t it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond." The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the more...

A Scottish man was at a baseball game.

It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, Run!"

This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game.

The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called "walk" and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, "R-R-Run, Man, rrrun!"

Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down. The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, "He can't run because he got four balls."

The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, "Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!"

4 men - a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job. The next morning, first up was the Marathi. "Here`s your question," said the President, "What`s the fastest thing in the world?" Without hesitation, he replied "A thought, because it takes no time at all." "Very good answer," said the President. Next up was the Gujrati, "What`s the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president. "A blink," replied the Gujju almost instantaneously, "cos you don`t think about a blink. It`s a reflex." "Good answer," replied the president. Next was the Bengali, "What`s the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president. The Bengali thought for a more...