Newcomer Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is Army policy all begins... Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water. Continue until, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes try to prevent it. Now, turn off the cold water. Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. more...

Start With A Cage Containing Five Apes.

In The Cage, Hang A Banana On A String And Put Stairs Under It. Before Long, An Ape Will Go To The Stairs And Start To Climb Towards The Banana. As Soon As He Touches The Stairs, Spray All Of The Apes With Cold Water.

After A While, Another Ape Makes An Attempt With The Same Result - All The Apes Are Sprayed With Cold Water. This Continues Through Several More Attempts. Pretty Soon, When Another Ape Tries To Climb The Stairs, The Other Apes All Try To Prevent It.

Now, Turn Off The Cold Water. Remove One Ape From The Cage And Replace It With A New One. The New Ape Sees The Banana And Wants To Climb The Stairs. To His Horror, All Of The Other Apes Attack Him. After Another Attempt And Attack, He Knows That If He Tries To Climb The Stairs, He Will Be Assaulted.

Next, Remove Another Of The Original Five Apes And Replace It With A New One. The Newcomer Goes To The Stairs And Is Attacked. The Previous more...

Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water. This continues through several more attempts. Pretty soon, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes all try to prevent it. Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with more...

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, did you call for me?" The man replied, "No, what do you mean?"
She said, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.

Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. "Did you call for me?" asked the hairy man. "No, what do you mean?" replied the newcomer. "You must be new." answered the hairy man, "It's more...

A newly captured lion was taken to Rome and placed in a cage in the Colosseum. From his window the newcomer could see fellow lions engaging in bloody combat with gladiators and pursuing Christians under the hot sun.
When the lions were finally returning to their cages after 10 hours of relentless pursuit and battle the newcomer said, "Wow, I thought this job would be a snap."
"Oh, the work's pretty tough," a grizzled old veteran replied, "But the prophets can be good."