Mummy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?
A: To the dead sea
Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
A: He was all wound up.
Q: Why don't mummies take vacations?
A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Q: Why couldnt the mummy come outside?
A: Because he was all wrapped up!
Q: What is a Mummies' favorite type of music?
A: Wrap!!!!!
Q: What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A: Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 1000 years?
A: Because he thought he was old enough to leave home!
Q: Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?
A: Because their daddies were mummies!

The Israeli archaeologist
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe, the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem.
"I`ve just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
Abe replied, "Bring him in. We`ll check it out."
A week later, the amazed Abe called the archaeologist. "You were right about both the mummy`s age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"
"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, `10,000 Shekels on Goliath`."

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. "I've just discovered a 3, 000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.

To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"

"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said,' 10, 000 Shekels on Goliath'."

Day1:
A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"
Mum replies: "yes dear"
Day 2:
"We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"
Mum replies: "yes dear"
Day 3:
"We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I'm a 36DD. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"
Mum replies: "No dear, it's because your 25.

Day1:
A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"
We lernt how to count up to 5 today mummy, i got up to 10 is it coz im blonde mummy?"
mum replies"
yes dear:
Day 2:
"
We lenrt how to do the alphabet today mummy, the others only got up to E i got up to S is it coz im blonde mummy?"
Mum replies:yes dear
Day 3:
"
We lernt about breast to day mummy, all the other girls are flat chested and im a 36DD is it coz blonde mummy?"
Mum replies:No dear its because your 25.

Day1:A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"Mum replies: "yes dear"Day 2:"We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"Mum replies: "yes dear"Day 3:"We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I'm a 36DD. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"Mum replies: "No dear, it's because your 25.

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. "Ive just discovered a 3, 000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed. To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. Well check it out." A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummys age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?""Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, 10, 000 Shekels on Goliath."