Multitasking Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I'm an expert at multitasking. I can cheat on six diets at the same time!

    Why should I upgrade to Windows 95?
    Because of the size of Microsoft, and its influence on the American
    economy, it's crucial that all PC users buy Windows 95. If this doesn't
    happen, the dollar will fall further against the yen, unemployment will
    rise, the deficit will increase, interest rates will skyrocket, the
    market will crash, and we'll be plunged into another world war.
    Besides, Bill Gates says you should.
    What about long filenames?
    Ha ha. Can't believe you fell for this one. Sure you can create long
    filenames, which are then immediately truncated to an eight character
    string, for old times sake. When you go to look for your file, the
    operating system matches a random sampling of letters with the
    filenames it has stored. Good luck finding your file.
    Does Windows 95 offer true multitasking?
    Yes. It's called Interactive Multitasking, meaning you can work on
    other tasks while waiting for your computer to reboot each time more...

    Multitasking allows screwing up several things at once.

    New Deal software runs in a preemptive, multithreaded multitasking
    environment. But what does that mean? Here's an explanation from one
    of the designers of the software.
    The Walking and Chewing Gum Theory
    Single-Tasking: You are walking down the street
    and you decide you would like to chew gum. You stop, untie your shoes
    and take them off, get a pack of gum from your pocket, take out a
    stick, put it in your mouth and then chew. When you are done chewing
    you remove the gum from your mouth, place it carefully back inside the
    wrapper, put it in your pocket, put back on your shoes and then
    continue to walk.
    Task-Switching: You are walking down the street
    and you decide you would like to chew gum. You slip out of your
    loafers, grab the piece of gum you have stashed behind your ear for
    just such an emergency and chew, chew, chew. When you are done
    chewing, you remove the gum from your mouth and quickly place it
    behind your ear more...

    Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

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