Motorist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself."

The cop says, "Let me see it, then."

So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

"Now as I understand it, Sir," said the police officer to the motorist, "you were driving this vehicle when the accident occurred. Can you tell me what happened?" "I'm afraid not, officer," replied the motorist. "I had my eyes shut!"

A San Francisco motorist following a taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him when it stopped suddenly. "Why didnt you let me know you were going to stop?" he yelled into the mist. "Why should I?" came a voice out of the fog. "Im in my own garage!"

Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket? Policeman: It was a moving violation.

A motorist pulls up to the gas pumps and says "fill it up, please". The Attendant notices that the front and back seats of the car are
occupied by penguins.

"Hey Buddy" says the attendant to the driver, "These birds can't be happy like this... they're wild animals, you should take them to a zoo
or something.."

The motorist agrees to do so.

The next day the guy drives into the filling station and once more the attendant sees the penquins installed in the front and back seats, and they are all wearing sunglasses and holding towels...

"What's this?" he says to the driver, "I thought you agreed to take these birds to the zoo?"

The driver says "I did... and they had such a great time that today I'm taking them to the beach."

A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still alive, but unconscious. He decided to take him home.
When the motorist got home, he put the sparrow in a cage, leaving him some bread and water inside. When the sparrow came to, he looked around and said: "Bars, bread, water... Oh my God!! I have killed the motorist!!!"

There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot.
When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?"
To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times."