Moose Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were these two Engineers who decided they would go moose hunting in the backwoods of British Columbia. As it happened, they lucked out and got a moose. Unfortunately, they were about a mile from their truck. They were having a tough time dragging the animal by the hind legs when a Wildlife Biologist happened upon them. He said, "You know, the hair follicles on a moose have a grain to them that causes the hair to lie toward the back. The way you are dragging that moose, it increases your coefficient of friction by a huge margin. If you grab it by the antlers and pull, you will find the work required to be quite minimal." The Engineers thanked him and started dragging the moose by the antlers. After about an hour, one Engineer said, "I can't believe how easy it is to move this moose this way. I sure am glad we ran across that Biologist." "Yeah.", said the other. "But we' re getting further and further away from our truck."

These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. (emphasis on fool)They got themselves a very authentic cow moose costume and learned themating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure in the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. So, they set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, in their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before too long their call was answered by bull in the forest. They called again, the bull answered closer to them. They called again, The bull answered, and came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. As the bulls' pounding hoof beats got closer the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him"! After a moment, that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouts -"THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!"The front guy says, "Well, I'm gonna start nibbling grass, but you better start to "brace more...

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.
The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, put on their costume and began to give the moose love call.
Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him."
After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"
The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but if I were you, I'd brace myself!"

These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success.
Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. (emphasis on fool)

They got themselves a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the
mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure in the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.

So, they set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, in their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before too long their call was answered by bull in the forest.

They called again, the bull answered closer to them. They called again, The bull answered, and came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. As the bulls' pounding hoof beats got closer the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him"!

After a moment, that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouts -
"THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!"

The front guy says, more...

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, put on their costume and began to give the moose love call.Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him."After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but if I were you, I'd brace myself!"

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call.
Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him."
After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?"
The guy in the front said, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

Two hunters were off on their annual trip to the Canadian wilderness to bag a moose. As the seaplane landed on a lake in a remote area, the pilot said, "I'll be back in one week to pick you up. But only one moose, please." When he returned to the lake, he found the hunters proudly standing beside two moose. "I told you guys only one moose!" the furious flier screamed. "There's no way the plane can take off with that much weight!" "You're just a chicken pilot," one hunter said. "We killed two moose last year and that pilot wasn't afraid to take off." Stung by the suggestion of cowardice, he reconsidered. "All right, if you did it last year, I guess we can try it." They loaded up and the pilot taxied to the far end of the lake to begin his take-off. The plane bounced across the water as it strained to get airborne, but the overloaded aircraft finally ran out of space and crashed into the trees. Some time later, the hunters more...