Monitor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee: Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Support: "What sort of trouble?" Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.", Support: "Went away?" Customer:"They disappeared." Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" Customer: "Nothing." Support: "Nothing?" Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" Customer: "How do I tell?" Support: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?" Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." Support: more...

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless, to say the helpdesk employee was fired: however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support Employee: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?" "They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"
"Can you see the c:prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the more...

Morty the producer dies and goes to purgatory. The agent behind the counter says "So Morty, what's it gonna be Heaven or Hell?" Morty asks, "What's the difference?" Sid says "Take a look at the monitor over here."
Morty goes to the monitor and sees scenes of heaven where people are quietly floating on clouds and playing harps in serene bliss. Morty turns to Sid and says "Well that's nice. Pretty boring but nice. What's Hell like?"
Sid tells him to look at the other monitor. Morty does and sees scenes of young people having sex and dancing and smoking and drinking and laughing and singing and generally having a great time.
"This is great!" says Morty. "I think I'll try Hell." Sid directs him to the elevator and instructs him to push the down arrow. Morty does so and waits for the elevator to take him to hell.
When the car stops at hell the doors spring open. Morty looks around from the elevator doorway and more...

Hello. Tech Support; may I help you? "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.""What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.""Went away?" "They disappeared.""Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing.""Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.""Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?"[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."[Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug? ]"Does your monitor more...

Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee:

Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I`m having trouble with WordPerfect."
Support: "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.",
Support: "Went away?"
Customer:"They disappeared."
Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
Support: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It`s blank; it won`t accept anything when I type."
Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
Support: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "What`s a sea-prompt?"
Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
Customer: "There more...

Actual dialogue of a former Wordperfect Customer Support Employee (CSE)Customer Support Employee (CSE): May I help you? Customer: Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.CSE: What sort of trouble?Customer: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.CSE: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?Customer: Nothing.CSE: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?Customer: How do I tell?CSE: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?Customer: What's a sea-prompt?CSE: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?Customer: There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.CSE: Does your monitor have a power indicator?Customer: What's a monitor?CSE: It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?Customer: I don't know.CSE: Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?Customer: Yes, I think so.CSE: more...

Tech: “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you? ”

Customer: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect. ”

Tech: “What sort of trouble? ”

Customer: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away. ”

Tech: “Went away? ”

Customer: “They disappeared. ”

Tech: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now? ”

Customer: “Nothing. ”

Tech: “Nothing? ”

Customer: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type. ”

Tech: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out? ”

Customer: “How do I tell? ”

Tech: “Can you see the “C” prompt on the screen? ”

Customer: “What’s a sea-prompt? ”

Tech: “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen? ”

Customer: “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I more...