Mixer Jokes / Recent Jokes

How to make a fruitcake!:
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1 C water
1 C sugar
4 large eggs
2 C dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 C brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Directions:
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1. Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
2. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
3. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
4. Turn on the electric mixer; beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
5. Add one tsp. sugar and beat again.
6. Be sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.
7. Turn off the mixer.
8. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
9. Mix on the turner.
10. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
11. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
12. Next, sift two more...

You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.
Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the more...

You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.Sample the whisky to check for quality.Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to more...

Here's my favourite recipe for fruit cake.
You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.
Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or more...

HOLIDAY FRUITCAKE RECIPE
You will need the following: A cup of
water, a cup of sugar, four large brown
eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon
of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice,
nuts, and a bottle of whiskey.
Sample the whiskey and check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey
again. To be sure it is the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of
butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one
teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry
another tup. Turn off the mixer. Beat two
leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
cup of dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If
the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers,
pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey and check for
tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares? Check the
whiskey. Now sift the lemon uice more...

You’ll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.
Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease more...

How to make a fruitcake!:
1 C water
1 C sugar
4 large eggs
2 C dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 C brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey
Directions:
1. Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
2. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
3. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
4. Turn on the electric mixer; beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
5. Add one tsp. sugar and beat again.
6. Be sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.
7. Turn off the mixer.
8. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
9. Mix on the turner.
10. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
11. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
12. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares.
13. Check the whiskey.
14. Now sift the lemon more...