Mistake Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new business was opening and one of the owners friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace". The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, Im really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location."

When you take a long time, you`re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he`s thorough.
When you don`t do it, you`re lazy.
When your boss doesn`t do it, he`s too busy.
When you make a mistake, you`re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he`s only human.
When doing something without being told, you`re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that`s initiative.
When you take a stand, you`re being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he`s being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you`re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he`s being original.
When you please your boss, you`re arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he`s being co-operative.
When you`re out of the office, you`re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he`s on business.
When you`re on a day off sick, you`re always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be more...

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be more...

"A lot of people mistake a short memory with a clear conscience." — Doug Larson

How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1. 00 mistake in an expense report? Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. --Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair Identical parts aren't. --Beach's Law Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. --Anthony's Law of the Workshop Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. -- Tussman's Law If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. --Lowery's Law The solution to a problem changes the problem. --Peer's Law There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance. --William's Law Machines should work. People should think. --IBM's Pollyanna Principle The most ineffective workers shall be moved systematically to the place where they can do the least damage. --The Dilbert Principle The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. --Ehrlich's Law It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry. --Ralph's Observation If you tell the boss you were more...

An employee walks into the Accounts office and says "What is the meaning of this. I have been paid $200 less than what was decided upon."
The Accountant replies "I know about it, but you did not complain when we paid $200 extra by mistake last month."
The employee snaps back "Yeah, I can bear with occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit I think I need to report."