Mistake Jokes / Recent Jokes

User-FRIENDLY
C:> DUR
Command not found. Try retyping
User-HELPFUL
C:> DUR
I don't understand DUR. Do you mean DIR?
User-UNFRIENDLY
C:> DUR
C:> DUR
C:> DUR
C:> DUR
User-HOSTILE
C:> DUR
Ha! A mistake! I'm sure you meant to say FORMAT, so that's what I'll do.
User-INDIFFERENT
C:> DUR
DUR?
User-PATRONISING
C:> DUR
Now, that's not quite right is it? Let's try again; this time, use the
manual that the nice salesperson gave you when you bought me.
User-OBSEQUIOUS
C:> DUR
I'm so very, very sorry but I don't understand that. I'm sure it was my
fault, but if you would please try again I'll do my best.
User-SARCASTIC
C:> DUR
Well, Look who's made a mistake then. Very unusual, I don't think.
User-INSULTING
C:> DUR
S*d off
C:> DIR
S*d off
User-Smug
C:> DUR
No
C:> DOR
Nope
C:> HELP
No
C:> PLEASE
Not unless you give me a 1Gb hard disk to more...

A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ each -- three for a dollar."All day long, customers came in exclaiming:
"Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?""What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.When you apply for leave, you must be more...

100, 000 sperm and you were the fastest?
42. 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real more...

Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde woman and an enormously large woman with an unfriendly scowl are in a train car. The train passes through a tunnel, and in the darkness the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. As the train pulls out of the tunnel, the daylight reveals a big red slap mark on Clinton's cheek.

The blond thinks: "That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who must have slapped his face"

The fat lady thinks: "That dirty old Bill Clinton touched the blonde and she smacked him."

Bill Clinton thinks: "George put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me."

George Bush thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again."

Mistake: to err, to cause an error or make a mess;
If a barber makes a mistake, it's a new style...
If a driver makes a mistake, it is an accident...
If a politician makes a mistake, it is a new law...
If a scientist makes a mistake, it is a new invention...
If a tailor makes a mistake, it is a new fashion...
If a teacher makes a mistake, it is a new theory...
If our boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake...
If an employee makes a mistake, it is a "MISTAKE."

Height Of Illiteracy: You Take A Blade And Write Your Lover’s Name On Your Arm.. . . . And Make A Spelling Mistake.