Missile Jokes

The U.S. says North Korea launched a long-range missile, but it failed thirty-five seconds after take-off. North Korea says it was a successful launch of an extremely-short-range missile.

In the wake of North Korea's missile tests, President Bush admitted that the U.S.'s missile defense system's abilities are "modest." For the time being, Bush is stationing Dick Cheney and his shotgun on a cruiser in the Sea of Japan.

What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist? A bad oboist can kill you.

Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.

Detachable Penis (song) by King Missile
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning
I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinent
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really more...