Midget Jokes / Recent Jokes

A bald guy walks into a bar, turns to the noticably short bartender, and says "Hey midget, gimme a beer!"
The bartender gives the man a beer, but tells the man not to refer to him as a midget.
A few drinks later, the guy turns to the bartender and again says, "hey midget... gimme another beer!"
The bartender gets upset and warns the man about calling him a midget, but gives him his beer.
After the thrid time this happens, the bartender says, "Hey! I told you to stop calling me a midget! How would you like it if I called you 'baldy' if our positions were reversed?"
The guy thinks about it and admits that he wouldn't mind. The bartender disagrees, and ultimately they agree to switch positions to let the man see how it feels.
The bartender moves to the front of the bar, and the guy moves to the back. The bartender says, "Hey baldy, gimme a beer!"
The guy leans over the bar and says, "Sorry, but we don't serve more...

This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend.
"I know this midget who wants to buy a horse. He has a slight speech impediment, so listen carefully, I'm sending him over."
The Midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse.
"A female horth," the midget replies. So the owner shows him one. "Nith looking horth, can I see her mouth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes. "OK, what about the earsth?"
Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows the ears.
"OK, finally, I'd like to see her twat." With that, the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head up the horse's twat, then pulls him out.
Shaking his head, the midget says, "Perhapth I should rephrase. I'd like to see her run!"

A guy calls a buddy, who is a horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.
The horse rancher asks "How will I recognize him?"
That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."
The midget goes there, and the rancher asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.
"A female horth."
He shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?
The rancher picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"?
He picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.
"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"?
The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?
Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the more...

A 6'4" man hit a midget in the rear while at a red light.
The midget gets out of his car and comes up to the man and says, "I'm NOT happy!" and the man replied, "Which one are you, then?"

Q: What do you call a midget fortuneteller on the run from the law?
A: A small medium at large.

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him.The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!"
mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors.Snip-snip-snip-snip on the rightside... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and more...

Two eskimos, a big one and a little one, go to their local Alaskan convent
with a question. The big one nudges the little one and says, "Go ahead,
knock on the door, knock on the door."
The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big eskimo nudges the
little one and says, "Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the
question."
The little eskimo timidly says, "May we speak with the midget nun that
lives here please?"
The Mother Superior answers, "There are no midget nuns living here."
The big eskimo starts nudging the little one again and says, "Go ahead, ask
her the other question, ask her the other question."
The little eskimo asks in a quavering voice, "Well, are there any midget
nuns in Alaska?"
The Mother Superior responds uncertainly, "Why no, I don't believe so."
With this the big eskimo falls down and rolls on the ground, clutching his
belly as more...