Microwave Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde walks into a shop and says to the owner "can i buy that microwave" the owner replys sorry, we dont seel to blondes.
So the next day she comes back as a red head and says "can i buy that microwave" the owner replys sorry, we dont sell to blondes.
So the next day she comes back as a brunette and says " can i buy that microwave?"
the owner replys sorry, we dont sell to blondes
she says " how did you know i was a blonde?
he says" because thats not a microwave, thats a T.V!

a blonde walks into big lots she goes to the check out and asks can i buy this microwave the cashier says no we dont sell to blondes.So the blonde comes back the next day with brown hair she once again asks can i buy this microwave the cashier again replies no we dont sell to blondes.So one week later the blonde comes back with gray hair and once again asks can i buy this microwave the cashier says no we dont sell to blondes. Well the blonde says how do you know im a blonde well i know you dont wear glasses and only blondes couldnt figure this out its not a microwave its a t.v.

A young blonde woman walks into an appliance store and says, ''I'd like to buy that TV'' the employee says ''Sorry I can't sell that TV to blondes.'' So she goes home, dyes her hair red and says ''I'd like to buy that TV.'' The employee says, ''I can't sell that TV to blondes.'' So she dyes her hair black, goes back and says ''I'd like to buy that TV.'' Once again the employee says the same thing. The blonde says ''I've tried to buy that TV 3 times! How did you know I was blonde?'' The employee responds, ''Because thats not a TV, that's a microwave'''

DARWIN AWARD RUNNERS-UP: #1 - LOS ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to remove a bees' nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a pineapple. A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the explosive equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite. They ignited the fuse and retreated to watch from inside their home, behind a window some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The concussion of the explosion shattered the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani. Deciding Mr. Saduki needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital. While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the surviving bees. Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died of suffocation en-route to the hospital. #2 - Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a more...

Editor's note: I've gotten more than one 1999 Darwin Awards posting this year (that don't match), but I figure the gene pool is a big place...

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The true high point of the year has arrived. Yes, it is the 1999 Darwin Awards. For those sheltered few of you who are not fully aware of the Darwin Awards; these awards are given annually (and posthumously) to those individuals who did the most for the human gene pool by removing themselves from it.

GRAVITY KILLS

A 22-year-old Reston, Va., man was found dead after he tried to use luggage straps (the stretchy little ropes with hooks on each end) to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle, police said. Fairfax County, Va., police said Eric A. Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped... and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia more...