Method Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to change the bulb, one to copyright the method for changing the bulb, and one to call in the lawyers on anyone who infringes on the "look and feel" of the bulb changing method.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but the new light bulbs aren't compatible with the old sockets, so he has to buy a complete upgrade or a new light.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - there's no documentation available, so you have to wait until a third-party supplier comes out with a solution.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Did you try rebooting with extensions off?
Note: On the Macintosh, types of crashes can sometimes be attributed to not-quite-compatible extensions. One way to find out if one of the extensions is at fault in a more...
Finally! A guaranteed way to make $$$ with your computer- no strings attached!
That's right! You can makes lots of $$$$$ using the simple method described below. There is no secret to this method, it has been around for hundreds of years - before computers even existed!
People have been making $$ this way for a long time - in fact, it is estimated that over $ 100 trillion has been made this way by hundreds of millions of people. Don't worry this is not complicated - everything is completely automated and you won't have to sink any money into it. Follow these simple steps and you are guaranteed to make $$$:
Take a look at the box below. Simply click your mouse cursor inside the box.
Now that your cursor is blinking inside the box, it is time to get to work:
* Hold down the shift button on your keyboard.
* While holding this button, locate the "4" key on the upper left-hand side of the keyboard.
* more...
This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM branch offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us guys find it rather funny.
---- Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)
Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform eratically, it may need a ball replacement.
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.
Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can more...
How to clean your mouse...
This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem.
The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor.
Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse.
Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.
Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.
Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method.
Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.
Mouse balls are not more...
Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreo's:
1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreo.
Put your answers down NOW, then check below:
Your Personality:
1. The whole thing:
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You more...
The following memo is from an un-named computer company and was sent to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious, however the engineers rolled on the floor.
"Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Due to the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive, however, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion more...
"Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible." "If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump."