Mechanic Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Eskimo was having problems with his car so he took it to a mechanic to have it checked out.
After examining the engine, the mechanic reported the problem. "Looks like you blew a seal," he told the Eskimo.
"No, that's just frost on my mustache," the Eskimo replied.

an eskimo was riding his snowmobie when it qiut running he took it to the local mechanic and had him look at it the mechanic told the eskimo to give him about 3-4 hours and he would have it diagnosed so the eskimo went into town to do some shopping when he returned to the mechanic shop he saw his snow mobile in pieces the mechanic turned and looked at the eskimo and said looks like you have blown a seal the eskimo replies no that is just frost on my mustache

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.

"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"

"I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side."

David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, Rhode Island, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.
45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.

German Lesson #7
Dog: Barkenpantensniffer
Dog Catcher: Barkenpantensniffersnatcher
Dog Catcher's Truck: Barkenpantensniffersnatcherwagen
Garage for Truck: Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenhaus
Truck Repairman: Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagen-
mechanikerwerker
Mechanic's Union: Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagen-
mechanikerwerkerfeatherbedden-
gefixengruppe
Doctor: Chestergethumpenpulsentooker
Nurse: Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelper
Hypodermic Needle: Chestergethumpenpulsentooker-
helperhurtensticker
Backside: Chestergethumpenpulsentooker-
helperhurtenstickerstabbenplatz
Piano: Plinkenplankenplunkenbox
Pianist: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder
Piano Stool: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder-
spinnenseat
Piano Recital: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder-
offengeshowenspelle
Fathers at the Recital: more...

A gynecologist decided to quit, and become a car mechanic. He took a
mechanics' course, and did the mechanics'union exam, and received the
grade 105. The authorities were very mad at the tester for such an
unusualgrade, and inquired about it. The tester explained:"He's a really
good mechanic. I asked him to change oil, and he did. I asked him to put in a ne$
him to clean the spark-plugs, and he did""So why didn't you grade him a 100,
why 105?""'cause he did it all through the exhaust pipe"-----------------------

Someone had kicked a dent in the door of the blonde's car so she took it to a mechanic to get it fixed. The mechanic thought that seeing as she was a blonde, he would joke with her. He told her to take her car home, get behind it, blow on the tail pipe and that would pop the dent out.
So she took her car home and began blowing on the tail pipe when another blonde came up to her and asked what the heck she was doing.
The blonde said, "The mechanic told me to blow on the tail pipe and that would blow the dent in the door right out."
The other blonde shook her head and said, "You dumb blonde, don't you know you have to roll the windows up first!"