Mark Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles
and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug
consumption problem all over the world. After giving it much
thought they reached the conclusion that in order to better
deal with the problem, that they should try the drugs themselves
and then decide on the correct way to proceed. It was therefore
decided that a commission made up of some of the members return
to earth to get the different types of drugs.

The secret operation is effected and two days later the
commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven.

Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:
"Who is it?"
"It's Paul"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring, Paul?"
"Hashish from Morocco"
"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"
"It's Mark"
Jesus opens the more...

Mark Cuban allegedly told Kenyon Martin's mom that her son is a punk.
Martin's mother retaliated by reminding him that he's the owner of the Mavericks.

One time, Mark Bookspan accidentally shot himself in the stomach while hunting and peed blood for a week.

One time, Mark Bookspan was calculating his finances and he screwed it all up.

A man goes into an empty bar and orders a beer, and as he's walking around he sees a table about 6' x 4' with some lines marked 6"-10" from one edge.
Next to each line there are initials. So the man says to the bartender "What are all those marks on that table?"
"It's a game the locals play, they pull out their dicks, stretch them a far as they can and mark a line."
This man is hung like a horse and reckons he can beat all the lines he's seen and asks if he can have a go, "sure" came the reply.
As he pulled out his dick it's a clear winner by about 3". He starts to mark his line down when the bartender said: "No mate, the locals start from the other side"

Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow." The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?" His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big' X' on the bottom of the boat." The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?"

Many a true word is spoken in jest but.............
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.

2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counseled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.

Scenario: Billy more...