Manhattan Jokes / Recent Jokes

While driving through an Indian reservation, the salesman was approached by a very lovely Algonquin maid, who offered herself to him for fifty dollars. "That's a lot of money," he said. "Manhattan Island cost only twenty-four."
"True," she agreed, "but Manhattan Island just lies there."

While driving through an Indian reservation, the salesman was approached by a very lovely Algonquin maid, who offered herself to him for fifty dollars. "That's a lot of money," he said.

"Manhattan Island cost only twenty-four."

"True," she agreed, "but Manhattan Island just lies there."

A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase ManhattanBank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young manat the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in thebag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though, she wished to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to theamount of money involved.The teller seemed to think that was a reasonable request and afteropening the paper bag and seeing the bundles of 1,000 bills whichamounted to right around 3 million, telephoned the bank's secretaryto obtain an appointment for the lady.The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president'soffice. Introductions were made and she stated that she would liketo get to know the people she did business with on a more personallevel. The bank president then asked her where she came into such alarge amount of money. "Was it an inheritance?" he asked. "No." sheanswered. "Was it from playing the stock more...

A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase ManhattanBank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young manat the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in thebag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though, she wished to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to theamount of money involved. The teller seemed to think that was a reasonable request and afteropening the paper bag and seeing the bundles of 1, 000 bills whichamounted to right around 3 million, telephoned the bank's secretaryto obtain an appointment for the lady. The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president'soffice. Introductions were made and she stated that she would liketo get to know the people she did business with on a more personallevel. The bank president then asked her where she came into such alarge amount of money. "Was it an inheritance?" he asked. "No." sheanswered. "Was it from playing the stock more...

One of my friends went to a party. He asked from the Bar tender for a "Manhattan"(It is a Drink, cooktail) He gave the drink. By mistake he droped a peace of Parsley (green Vegitable) into the Drink. My Friend saw the piece of Parslely and asked what is this? The bar tender told my friend, You asked for a "Manhattan", and that is The Centeral Park. (Because Manhattan has a big park call Central Park).

Authorities were investigating the source of a mysterious gas-like odor Monday that stretched across a large part of Manhattan."The smell was very strong. It was very scary," said Yolanda Van Gemd, an administrator at ASA, a business school near the Empire State Building that was evacuated as a precaution.
In August, seven people were treated at hospitals after a gaseous smell in the boroughs of Queens and Staten Island.
In December, five people were killed and thirty eight people suffered irreparable damage after a foul and mysterious odor encompassed L.A. county emanating from a club that was attended by young celebrities. Coincidentally this was the night Britney Spears was photographed with no underwear on.
"The smell was very strong. It was very scary," said Fred Martin, a homeless guy who was burning tires a few miles away from the club.

A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar when he spots a
fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly dude. He asks
the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she's
a prostitute. He watches her the rest of the night, amazed that
someone so attractive could be available to him. The next night
he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up again,
only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches
her.
"Is it true you're a prostitute?"
"Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I dunno. What do you charge?"
"I get $100 just for a hand job. We can negotiate from there..."
"$100!?! For a handjob? Are you nuts?"
"You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front
door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked
outside. "I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on
hand jobs. Trust me, it's more...