Manager Jokes / Recent Jokes

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high... you might want to use this mans logic.
A husband and wife are travelling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic- sized pool and a huge conference center that were
available for the husband and wife to use.
"But we didn't use them", the man more...

A middle aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.

The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on' special'.

Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming! "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what's wrong?"

She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!" And doing so draws an even more HUGE crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying more...

A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago. On this particular
trip he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their
hotel and were shown to their room, the man said:
"You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour."
The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes
by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out
of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occurrance, she lies down once more. Again
a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor. Exasperated,
she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager
says he'll be right up.
The manager (naturally) is skeptical but the wife insists the story is
true.
"Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"
So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in.
"What," he says, "are you doing here?"
The more...

Sign in a science teacher's room: "If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics."
Sign in butchers window: "Pleased to meat you."
Sign on auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"
Sign at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."
Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."
Sign in an Acapulco Hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
Sign in a Norwegian lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."

An office manager had money problems had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill... He thought he`d fire the employee who came late to work the next morning.
Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.
Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the manager thought he`d wait see who would leave work the earliest and both employees stayed after closing.
Jill finally went to the coat rack the manager went up to her said,
"Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don`t know whether to lay you or Jack off."
Jill said, "Well, you`d better jack off, because I`m late for my bus."

Back in the old west, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The Manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job. Three groups responded. A group of Chinese, a group of Italians, and a group of Blondes. Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the manager decided to assign each group to a different part of the line. The first task was to stand the telegraph poles. The Manager sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today, would receive a bonus. At the end of the day, the foreman of the Italians reported back to the Manager. The Manager inquired of him how many poles had been set by his group. He replied 48. The manager was very pleased. He advised the Italian to stay awhile until he heard how the Chinese and the Blondes did. Next to report was the foreman of the Chinese group. When asked, he reported that they had more...

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the seventh bug more...