Lost Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against. ... get this. ... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire
stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet
to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued. .. and won!! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance more...
At an auction in Manchester a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10, 000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.
From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"
What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call.
2 Haryanvi men were searching for their lost wife in a festival at Hissar city.
First Haryanvi: How does your wife look like?
Second Haryanvi: She is 5' 7", 36-24-36 sexy figure, fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair... And yours?
First Haryanvi: Forget mine, let us look for yours...
After 40 years of marriage, Jimmy decides to leave Katherine. She starts crying and then asks, "How can you do this, Jimmy? How can you just walk out? The first year we were together, you caught pneumonia and almost died! Who sat by your bed and nursed you back to health? Me! And when you lost half your family in the terrible car crash, who kept you going and kept your spirits up? Me! And when our kids grew up and ran away from home, who sat with you can comforted you? Me! And when you lost everything last year in the fire at the store, who stayed at your side the whole time? Me! How could you leave me, Jimmy? You've been through everything with me." Jimmy replies, "That's just the problem, Katherine! You're just fucking bad luck!"
You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base.
They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.
The next day, to the total disbelief of more...
Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital. Banta: "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left hand, since you are right handed." Santa: "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!