Little Johnny Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, can you write in the dark?"His father said, "I think so. What do you want me to write?"Little Johnny replied, "Oh, just sign this report card for me..."

Little Johnny was asked by his teacher to spell "straight," little Johnny did so without error."Bravo," said the teacher, "now, what does it mean?""Without water in it."

A man was walking on the sidewalk and noticed up ahead that Little Johnny was wearing a red fireman's hat and sitting in a red wagon. It appeared that the wagon was being pulled very slowly by a large German Shepherd. When he got closer to the lad, he noticed that Little Johnny had a rope tied around the dog's testicles, which probably accounted for why the dog was walking so gingerly.
Smiling, he spoke to the little boy, "That's really a nice fire engine you have there, son. But I'll bet the dog would pull you faster if you tied that rope around his neck."
"Yeah, sure" Little Johnny replied, "but then I wouldn't have a siren."

A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?""Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa.."And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest."Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.

Little Johnny had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school. Three days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving."Hold on," she said. "I had Johnny with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."Did you copy hers?, she asked.Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"

The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?"Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."