Little Johnny Jokes / Recent Jokes

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,' There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or' That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice, Little Johnny's, from the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher;. ..she's old and wrinkled"

A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top. She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest.
Lil' Johnny, playing in the sand looked up at her and said, "Lady, if you're going to drown those puppies, I'll take the one with the brown nose."

After church on Sunday morning, Little Johnny suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us," Little Johnny's mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?"
"Well," Little Johnny replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen."

Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, Well, Little Johnny, it isn't Christmas and we dont have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why dont you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead. After his temper tantrum, his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus...
Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Your Friend,
Little Johnny
Little Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (a brat). So, he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.
Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and want a new bicycle.
Yours truly,
Little Johnny
Well, Little Johnny knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried again. Dear Jesus, I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a new more...

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?""No sir," Little Johnny replies, "I don't have to, my mom is a good cook!"

One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could. "Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked."I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!""Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!""Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

Little Johnny was on his way back home from the store with a loaf of bread in one hand, and his other hand in his pants
pocket. Off in the distance, Father Joseph sees little Johnny and realizes this is the perfect opportunity to go preach the gospel of the Holy Bible to the young boy. Father Joseph approaches little Johnny and says, "I see that you have the "Staff of Life" in one hand." "Yep," replies little Johnny. "And I have a loaf of bread in the other!"