Little Johnny Jokes / Recent Jokes

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to Little Johnny who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
Little Johnny replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from his drawing Little Johnny replied, "They will in a minute."

Little Johnny's 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. “Johnny,” she says, “what
comes after' O'?”Johnny says, “Yeah!”

Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying
week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked, “Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?”Bobby said, “Yes, God did it and he did it left handed.”This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, “What makes you say God did
this with his left hand?”“Well,” said Bobby, “we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's
right hand!”

The teacher in Little Johnny's class decided to make a deal with her class. Every Friday at the end of the day, she'll ask them a question and whoever answers it can get a three-day weekend. Well for a couple of weeks, The teacher asked outrageous questions like "How many stars are there in the sky?" or "how many grains of sand are there on the beach?" Of course they're impossible.
But Johnny got desperate to get that three-day weekend. So, on Thursday night, he took two ping-pong balls and colored them black and put them in a paper bag.
Next day when the time came for the question,soon as the teacher said, "It's time for the question of the week!"
He emptied the bag and the ping pong balls rolled to the front of the room. Since they are third graders, they snickered and all, then the teacher said, "Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls??"
Little Johnny sprange up and yell, "Bill Cosby! See you on Tuesday!"

Little Johnny's mother sent Little Johnny to the store to get a loaf of bread. Little Johnny was coming home from the store,swinging the loaf of bread in one hand with the other hand in his pants pocket.
Along come Priest Joe and he thought to himself, "This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny." He walks up to Little Johnny and said, "I see Little Johnny that you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?"
Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread Father."

Little Johnny came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigormortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why is his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so god can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great", said little Johnny.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming, and if it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."