Lincoln Jokes / Recent Jokes
Father To His Son: “When Abraham Lincoln Was Of Your Age He Was Very Intelligent. ”
Son: “When Abraham Lincoln Was Of Your Age He Was The President Of The Usa. ”
One more Lincoln story that came to mind:
As a young lawyer, Lincoln was pleading a case and asked a witness (appropos of what I do not recall, though perhaps the use of heresay evidence): "How many legs does a cow have?"
The man grinned at the foolish question and said, "Four, of course."
"And how many legs would the cow have if we called her tail a leg," continued Lincoln.
With a partonizing sneer, the witness replied, "Five."
"No, my friend, she'd still have four. Just calling her tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."
A conservative "family values" group recently got video footage of a gay-rights rally held in Washington removed from a promotional video at the Lincoln Memorial, because they said it implied that Lincoln supported gay people.
Well, we know he supported the theater...
Down at the office Bostwick boasted to one of his buddies,"My son Arthur is smarter even than Abraham Lincoln. Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten years old. Lincoln didnt say it till he was fifty!"
Three guys died and arrived at the Pearly Gates where St. Peter met them and said, "I realize all three of you have been forgiven because you are here, but before I allow you into Heaven I must ask you a question. The answer you give will determine what kind of car you get. Cars are needed in Heaven because it is so big."
St. Peter approached the first man and asked, "How long were you married?" "Twenty-five years," he replied.
"Did you ever cheat on your wife?" asked St. Peter. "Yes, 6 times, but you did say I was forgiven," he replied.
"Yes, but that's still not very good. Here, you get a Pinto to drive," replied St. Peter.
He then approached the second man and asked the same questions. "I was married for 38 years and I did cheat on her once, but that was during our first few months of marriage. We worked things out and it never happened again," the second man said.
"I am very pleased to more...
A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games.
In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States...."