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It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car.
When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet. Why don't you have a seat?"
Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do.
Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.
"Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it!"
Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby — so he asks Carrie's dad to repeat himself.
"Yeah," says Carrie's father,
"Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!"
A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go.
Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.
About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, more...
- Who likes music? - asks a commander.- Two soldiers step forward.- All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.
W O M A N
If you kiss her, you are not a gentlemen
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you don't love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you don't like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another,' Oh! it's natural, we are girls'
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you more...
Entry 1
Dear Diary,
I'm so excited! Just got a job as an intern at the White House... and I don't know a thing about medicine. Don't even know what my duties are yet, but I hope it's a "hands on" position. Entry 2
Dear Diary,
You won't believe this! I snuck into the Oval Office when no one was looking. But then I dropped one of my contacts. So, I got down on my hands and knees and was looking for it when-guess what-the president walked in. He said, "You must be the new intern." That man is psychic! I hope he likes me. Entry 3
Dear Diary,
I think the president likes me. Today he dropped his contacts on the rug and asked me to find them. Entry 4
Dear Diary,
He really likes me. Entry 5
Dear Diary,
I have been sent to the stupid Pentagon to work. It is such a drag. Like they're going to put me in charge of heat-seeking missiles or something. But I still talk to my Bubba-cakes on the phone. He calls me "1-900 Monica." more...
There is one man that likes to pee out windows.There is another man that likes to chop off peoples weiners peeing out windows.The last man likes pickles.The first man was peeing out the window.The second man chopped off his weiner.The weiner fell in some green paint and splashed to the ground.The last man picked it up and said oh a pickle and... ate it.
A couple go on holiday to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies (thinking it was obvious). "You're in a restricted fishing area" he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I am reading" she replies. "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up'' the warden says. "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault" says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you!" says the game warden. "That's true, more...
I found these humurous and easily clasify people.
Agi Tator: Whenever things get dull, Agi is always there to stir things up. She is often a nuisance, but many times keeps everyone on their toes by disturbing the comfortable status quo.
Cogi Tator: Cogi is a thinker. She is different from her brother Medi because Cogi thinks deeply about matters that will affect the way she acts. She weighs everything carefully before acting and attempts to make sure she has considered all the alternatives.
Common Tator: Common always has advice or criticism on any subject. Always talking and always very authoritative sounding, he often sounds like he knows what he is talking out, but usually doesn't.
Devis Tator: Devis is a revolutionary. He believes in confrontation, radical changes. It is his philosophy that the only way to change something is to destroy it and start all over. Devis is weak on alternatives or ideas for rebuilding and considers that someone else's job.
Dick more...