Lightning Jokes / Recent Jokes
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. Prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area.
Finally one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark - then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..." As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hits the water and lo and behold, Justin turns into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swims away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them, Justin hardly realizing that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
During the next tropical storm, Justin figures that the same lightening force could change him back more...
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn`t zigzag?
It was originally reported that getting struck by lightning could be much more harmful if it happens while using a cell phone, but these reports were debunked.
So good news! If you're getting struck by lightning, feel free to call someone and tell them about it while it's happening. It's JUST as safe as getting struck by lightning ordinarily.
God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision... I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that Windows95, among other things. I believe I'll do something I've never done before...
I'll let YOU decide where you want to go.
Bill pushed up his glasses, looked at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'll do better than that. I'll let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you want to visit first... Heaven or Hell?"
Bill said, "I think I'll try Hell first."
So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell.
When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was a beautiful and clean place... a bit warm... with sandy beaches and tall more...
One beautiful Saturday afternoon a priest and a man are golfing. The priest tees-off first making a beautiful shot on the fairway. Next the man hits and his shot crashes into the water trap. "God-damn it I missed!" the man exclaims in anger. "Be careful or God will strike you with a lightning bolt," the priest replies. One the next tee the priest makes a nice shot onto the green while the man's lands in the sand. "God-damn it I missed!" "Be careful or God will strike you with a lightning bolt," the priest says. Next hole the priest gets the play within range for an eagle put. The man shots and again it flys into the water. "God-damn it I missed!" As the man said this, the sky clouded over. All of a sudden a lightning bolt came down and hit the priest. The man looked up to hear, "God-damn it I missed!"
the local vicar and a villager are having a game of golf and the villager gets to put and misses and goes damm missed the buger
and the vicar says if you say that again god will open up the heavens and strike u dead with a lightning bolt the village goes to strike again and misses and goes damm missed the buger the heavens opened up and a lightning bolt struck the vicar and god says damm missed the buger.
God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision...I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that Windows95, among other things. I believe I'll do something I've never done before...
I'll let YOU decide where you want to go.
Bill pushed up his glasses, looked at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'll do better than that. I'll let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you want to visit first...Heaven or Hell?"
Bill said, "I think I'll try Hell first."
So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell.
When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was a beautiful and clean place...a bit warm...with sandy beaches and tall more...