Lester Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Lester!
Lester who?
Lester over a new leaf!

Having retired several months before, Mr. Boniface was bored and went looking for part-time work. Landing a job as a school bus driver and given a very short route to begin with, he was handed a set of keys and told that his bus would be in spot number fifteen the following morning.
The next day Mr. Boniface went to the bus depot and boarded his bus-which, as it happened, was decorated with Sesame Street characters. Though he felt a tad foolish driving a bus with Big Bird on the door, Mr. Boniface knew-the lads must like it and put the decorations; from his mind.
The first lads he picked up were two chubby girls, both of whom happened to be named Pat-, tie. Both carried peanut butter sandwiches and as they took huge, snorting bites, dripped jelly all over the bus. At the next stop, portly Hoss and his mother came on, the woman going on; and on about how special her brilliant son was and how she hoped Mr. Boniface would drive very carefully. The last child on the route was more...

Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.
On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her more...

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids along a new bus route.

At the first stop, he picked up a fat little girl. Grover asked, "What's your name?" "Patty" she replied. She had a seat in the back of the bus.

On the next stop there was a handicapped boy named Ross. All the kids called him "Special Ross."

Then a young man named Lester Cheese loaded onto the bus, sat down, took off his shoes and began picking at his bunyons.

Finally the last stop came up, and another chubby little girl got on. Grover had never met her, so he asked her her name and her name was also Patty.

On the way to school, Grover looked in his mirror and began to laugh, He was thinking...

"Dang, I have two obese Patty's, Special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunyons, on a Sesame Street bus!"

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids along a new bus route.
At the first stop, he picked up a fat little girl. Grover asked, "What's your name?" "Patty" she replied. She had a seat in the back of the bus.
On the next stop there was a handicapped boy named Ross. All the kids called him "Special Ross."
Then a young man named Lester Cheese loaded onto the bus, sat down, took off his shoes and began picking at his bunyons.
Finally the last stop came up, and another chubby little girl got on. Grover had never met her, so he asked her her name and her name was also Patty.
On the way to school, Grover looked in his mirror and began to laugh, He was thinking...
"Dang, I have two obese Patty's, Special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunyons, on a Sesame Street bus!"