Lend Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man goes into the doctor.He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh, only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks. I really need 20 bucks.""I've never seen or heard anything like this before. How long has this been going on?" The doctor asked."That's nothing Doc. Put your ear to my knee."The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Man, I really need 10 dollars. Just lend me 10 bucks!!""Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded."Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks, please, if you will.""I have no idea what to tell you. There's nothing about more...

It is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

A guest visited a family from afar. Though the host had many chickens and ducks milling around his courtyard, he told his guest that he didn't dare to ask him to stay for dinner due to his shortage of suitable food for dinner. The guest instantly asked the host to lend him a knife to kill his riding horse so they could eat it for dinner. The host asked," Then, how can you ride home?" The guest answered," Just lend me one of your fowls to ride."

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.