Legal Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Terminology:
    Shotgun - The rightmost front passenger seat in a vehicle, a prime choice for any passenger, since it is the most comfortable seat, and also because of the psychological advantage of not being forced to subserviently look at the back of another person's head during a trip.
    Enthronement - The physical presence of a person in the Shotgun position.
    By Laws:
    Vehicle Ownership
    The owner of a vehicle, if he/she isn't driving, always gets Shotgun in that vehicle. It is their car, it is their seat and they get it. This is a real bonus for an owner who is falling down drunk. They can rest assured Shotgun is rightfully theirs. They won't have to worry about concentrating through an alcohol-induced haze simply to remember to call Shotgun in their own hard-earned car. Once proper Shotgun "enthronement" rights have been established, they may also be surrendered. If the owner of the vehicle is eligible for Shotgun, but wants to sleep it off in the back more...

    A long time resident of San Francisco is packing allhis stuff into boxes. His roommate comes in & askswhat he's doing. "I'm leaving! " he replies. "They justmade homosexuality legal." "So why leave now? " queries his roomie. "Gays havebeen part of the scene here for years and years." "Yeah, I know." he replied. "I'm getting the hell outof here before the damn fools make it compulsory."

    "Mr. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."

    "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

    A man went into a lawyer's office, and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted into the lawyer's office.
    The man needed legal help, but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he inquired, "Can you tell me how much you charge?"
    "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $500 to answer three questions."
    "Don't you think that's an awful lot of money to answer three questions?"
    "Yes it is", answered the lawyer, "What's your third question?"

    A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.

    The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.

    "Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.

    "Sure, after the police leave," replied the lawyer.

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